If Board Members were Springboks & International Test Players

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Jun 01, 2020, 00:00

1. Dean Greyling - CleanCutt ( A bumbling fool)


3. Marius Hurter - ARJ -Arthur Martha John 


5. Marvin Orrie - Plum

6. Pocock - Rooineck

7. Willem Alberts - CleverMike (Simple approaches)

8. Liam Messan - CrusaderFan (Will change the laws at will to win) 

9. Jeff Marshall - JustWin. (Sympathetic to the cause). 


10. Morne Steyn - Ceradyne   (Conservative)

12. Trevor Halstead - Saffex   (One Dimensional Crash Ball)

13. Gareth Thomas - Chippo


15. Israel Folau - Beeno

Jun 01, 2020, 00:19

Cleancut (HerrDrache, Dame Linda et al): James Dalton (In a pink thong)

Rooinek (Das Omlett/Kitchener/Indabigingi et al): Gareth Thomas

Jun 01, 2020, 00:31

Baggage master. Sharkbok

Jun 01, 2020, 00:38

Beeno at fullback is my best.

Also agree that there is no place for Moz.

He’s too good to be in this side.

Jun 01, 2020, 03:00

Aw-shucks....and there I was convinced I was going to be moztert!

Jun 01, 2020, 07:45

Spending all your time KO'd on the ground is not the same as doing good work on the deck.

Hence, please review your take on RooiCommie.

Jun 01, 2020, 09:16

Oh come now, SharkShit ... I’m nowhere near 120kg and would not be an effective prop.

You see what I mean when I referred to you as being confused?

You keep confirming this with every post.

Now let me help you out ... what you want to do is get as much ball to me as possible. That’s not going to happen if I’m in the front row. Rather place the chubby folks there ... like Redneck and Draad. They can lean on the opposition and win scrums for us

You’ll need me in the backrow ... that’s where my speed and strength will come into play.

A little advice ... don’t select Dumb Fuck at all. The man doesn’t know his arse from his elbow and will probably bring a hockey stick to practice.

As for Redneck ... you’ll have to be strict with him .. make sure he knows that bringing pies to the field is strictly prohibited.

Let me know if you need additional help with your selections.


Jun 01, 2020, 09:24

Hey Cunt would you be playing in your KKK outfit?

Jun 01, 2020, 18:37

Nearly as funny as one of Dave's lists.

Jun 01, 2020, 19:41

Shezza you smarting as you don’t even get a mention

I wonder why that is


Who the fuck are you, what do you contribute on here?

Sincere question

Jun 01, 2020, 20:24

1) Chippo - Beast - Well fed, probably quite short and perhaps even played prop at school. I imagine their accents to be identical.

2) Rooi - Adriaan Strauss - The red light follows Roxy wherever she goes. Red...Red is also for losers.

3) Pakie - CJ vd Linde - The most likely to raise an onslaught of a goal line defence when the chips are down.

4) Beeno - Matfield - They're basically the same person.

5) Draad - Lood - Tell me I'm wrong. 

6)  Plum - A Venter - Incredbly fit. Tough as hell. Legend, really.

7) Cloudy - Kruger - Just really wants to be in any scrum that involves Beeno. Known to play dirty.

8) Seb - P Spies - Never really seems comfortable. And is then suddenly waaaaay too comfortable.

9) Denny - R Paige - Shouldn't really be here but Faf was busy and Rudy's sox are always folded so neatly.

10) JW - Naas Botha - Timely interventions, mostly from range.

11) Moz - Habana - Often overruns the highball after expecting more distance on the "kick" from Denny.

12) Mike - F Steyn - Big feet often in mouth. Stubborn and with a permanent scowl. They're so similar.

13) Xavi - JDV - Captain fantastic in name. Makes less contributions than one would expect but they're often worthwhile.

14) Trad - Dyanti - Needs to cheat to get ahead. What a shame when one has such little confidence in yourself.

15) Cera - A Joubert - No Ferraris at the back for us please. We'd prefer a Bentley modified to look like tank.

Coach - WarDad - A Coetzee...Always mumbling some nonsense that nobody understands.

Forwards Coach - Saffex - Jannie D - Will only discuss the dark arts in a Bloemfintein bar.

EDIT: oh damn , I forgot Shark. Luckily he's used to being left behind. Wanna sell some peanuts on Saturday by the big match Sharky? You can pop-up in front of the crowd and say "Peanut brain selling peanuts."

Jun 01, 2020, 20:29

Who is Jannie D?

Jun 01, 2020, 20:33

Plum - can we have Shezza as backs coach - we need a bitches touch amongst the backs?

Jun 01, 2020, 20:35

"Who is Jannie D"

The Lions new forward's coach/player.

Jun 01, 2020, 20:36

Haha this is great plum. Denny at 9 would be great. He’s great at making darting runs towards Australia’s goal line.

Jun 02, 2020, 03:58

Clearly CTE has set in from all the crashballing you were limited to doing, Dave. Shark is taking the piss out of you, if you believe his mentioning of you as a badge of honour then you're proving my opinion of you being a cuckold true.

A cuck who revels in stealing valour.

Jun 02, 2020, 08:57

You miss the point dumbfuck

I don’t give a toss about the ignorant content of the post, that’s not my point


Poor little lonely girl

Jun 02, 2020, 08:59

Um ... Plum. Andre Venter was a blindside flank. He played at 7. You'll need to swap jerseys with Cloudy. Careful the cow shit.

WTF bro ... I just realized that I'm nowhere to be seen.

Tell me you at least have a bench spot for me.

Jun 02, 2020, 09:13


I'm getting to the bomb squad ;)

Jun 02, 2020, 10:16

Bomb squad...

RG Snyman - DA - Came to fight or play rugby. Doesn't matter which.

E Jantjies - Saderfan - Similar hairstyles and demeanour, nothing else.

H Honeyball - CC - Denny fearfully refers to him as "die Lem". 

U Schmidt - Aug - Both have been known to talk zi'German after a few.

S Kitshoff - Shezza - Because ginger and stout.

A Garvey - ArthurJ - Not much spoken of but brought some to reckoning in his day.

Jaco Kriel - Brycy - Brycy needs to feel what it's like to walk in a real man's shoes. Our pleasure, guy.

Jun 02, 2020, 12:04

"RG Snyman - DA - Came to fight or play rugby. Doesn't matter which"


Literally spat my coffee out. Colleagues giving me a skeef look now. 

Jun 03, 2020, 03:31


Says the person who just made two threads squealing for CleanCuts attention and an extra one crying over not being liked...

Jun 03, 2020, 07:29

Shezza, to be fair, we know Jack about you.

I mean, I had to make up that you're a ginger. That's how slim the pickings are.

Jun 04, 2020, 02:08

To be private on the internet is a savvy thing to do. 

Jun 04, 2020, 07:23

Shezza are all bitches as stupid as you?

I was playing Clown Cunt you dumbfuck - I spelt it out in a post - wake the fuck up

My post about not being liked was in reference to everyone on this board including a miserable bitch like yourself

Hope this helps?

Plum is spot on, who the fuck are you, what have you ever contributed on here. What is the point of your existence?

If you left, shit we would miss you!!!!!! NOT

Jun 04, 2020, 08:48

Well ... being as objective as I am, Shezza's posts (as limited as they are) are usually spot on. The man clearly has an understanding of the sport. Something that you, Cripple Dave will never acquire.

His posts are concise and to the point ... whereas you and your endless list of useless players still haven't contributed anything of substance. How many more years are we to endure your drivel?

I'd take a leaf out of Shezza's book and learn something ... there is no need for your long winded empty posts.

Put a little meat on the bone, Cripple Dave.

Stop being such a bore.

Jun 04, 2020, 08:52

Plum ... I'm curious ... you seem to be kissing Cripple Dave's crack lately.

Do you rate his posts ... or are you afraid he'll turn on you and call you a "cunt".

I hope you have more of a spine than that.

Oh and for your info ... Shezza has been around a lot longer than you have.

Jun 04, 2020, 09:03

Nah, man. I've never had any issues with Dave. 

We actually rate a lot of the same players. For better or worse.

And really, I'm getting to point where I start to wonder what life's gonna be like when I can't rely on my body the way I always used to. 

Just empathy.

As for Shezza, I just said I know nothing about him/her. Hence have to make up stuff.

Jun 04, 2020, 11:44

Awe Cunt like anyone gives a toss what you think or say

You were very concise when you chose Boshoff as the Bok 10 - your crowning glory

If ever a precedent was set, that’s it

It’s perfect as it automatically eliminates any rugby point you ever raise

It must be hard being inside your head. You know fuck all about rugby and boy do I mean that plus every black player is a quota in your ignorant eyes. Fuck it must be hard watching the game

Oh yes I almost forgot, you are so fucking pathetic you have turned your back on Bok rugby

Jun 04, 2020, 20:40

You bore me Dave, that response lacks substance. 

Plum you're gonna have to get creative because I ain't telling you jack.

Jun 04, 2020, 21:57

Shezza I tell you what - if you are bored then


As we’ve discovered you wont be missed

Jun 05, 2020, 01:49

Here's a hint little buddy, don't value what people on the internet think of you. In fact I'm applying it right now. 

Jun 05, 2020, 08:20


It's not like this site is frequented by hackers, phishers or scammers.

Your extreme caution is a quite redundant.

In fact, it's entirely unique on this board. 

That makes me think there's reason for it. One specifically related to Ruckers and/or some if it's members.

Perhaps you had another account previously or on one of the other boards that many people here came from. 

So, which of the previous forums where you on?

Jun 05, 2020, 09:11

How did you arrive at the conclusion I give a shit what people on the internet or anywhere for that matter think of me.

I’m just telling you how it is with you on here

You are a nothing, it’s no big deal it’s only a rugby message board - which is more the point - your rugby contributions are a big fat ZERO - so what is the point of you being here

Jun 05, 2020, 09:59

Hang on . . . 

Shezza has been posting on this forum for about 8 years from what I can tell, which is at least as long as Saffex and longer than Plum. During that time, I've known Shezza to be someone who talks about rugby; plays (or at least used to play) in Fantasy or Superbru comps and who doesn't get involved in personal spats or shitfights (or at least doesn't start them).

Are we saying that's the kind of poster we don't want around? Huh?

Shezza, you and I have disagreed a few times on rugby-related topics but we've never let it escalate into name-calling or insults (not that I recall anyway). You have every right to keep your personal life private and not give losers like Plumchum something personal to use against you. 

You're not the most prolific poster here but your contributions are appreciated and I'm happy to go on record as someone who likes you as a poster and believes you add value. 

Jun 05, 2020, 11:18

So I guess I'll be the water boy then? Or Mwandile stick, his a coach but what does he really coach? 

Jun 05, 2020, 11:23

Yes, Shezza

Don't be like Rooi and show us that you are a commie as well as someone that suggests incestuous paedophilia of some board members.

We will surely use that against you in future. 

Also, if you're a digital marketer, I may take personal offence to that career but nobody else seems to mind...strangely. 

Other than that, you're good.

Jun 05, 2020, 11:34

There we go Shezza you have a friend

Now you just need a dick

Jun 05, 2020, 11:57

LMAO @ Saffex!

Jun 05, 2020, 18:47

Is that what you think you are little buddy? The big man on the board? Yikes. 

And if you're looking for my dick, it's inbetween your wifes' legs. I cleared out the cobwebs and hydrated it, if you're allowed in you'll notice my handywork, or should I say genitalwork. 

Jun 05, 2020, 18:51

I don't venture into Beeno's corner of the forum, but I can say I lean a bit more left than some of you maniacs. 

This is where I go for 5 mins of my day to check up on rugby news and to sometimes straighten out little buddy. This is my one and only account. 

Jun 05, 2020, 18:53

Shezza nice try but trying to mimic Chip leaves you looking more of a twat than you are

That was pathetic

Crash and burn

Jun 05, 2020, 23:14

As pathetic as your jawline.

Jun 05, 2020, 23:47

Nothing wrong with my jawline at all that I can assure you

My guess is you look like well used arsehole

Jun 06, 2020, 00:35

Back to the rugby I have thought about this and if I was a professional rugby player  I’d probably be Dan Carter.

Jun 06, 2020, 01:53

Heart over flash every day of the week for me, Moz.


Jun 06, 2020, 06:36

Hahaha...maybe de Wet Barry then. Not the greatest skill set, but the way that guy put his body on the line with those crash tackles was epic.

Jun 06, 2020, 07:27

Schalk was another

Jun 06, 2020, 15:07

Only after your wife is done with me.

Jun 06, 2020, 16:28

Shezza what part of how pathetic you come across did you not get

Wake the fuck up you idiot

My wife, my mother blah blah blah

Jun 06, 2020, 19:53

PSDT is the new Schulk...not the same type of player, but the same kinda talisman all the same....already a Bok legend...like Faf, Thor and Eben...and Am, Cheslin and Mapimpi. 

Pity 2020 turned out to be a no show.

Jun 06, 2020, 20:27

Yeah a waste in the year of a player - every year is precious.

It’s bad enough losing out to injury - but a fucking virus - what a waste

Jun 06, 2020, 20:34

I know it's much worse than flu, but I really see no way of curbing this. World wide lockdown for how long?...to get a vaccine like a flu-shot...that works or not??? The biggest tragedy the world has ever seen.

Jun 06, 2020, 20:43

And then we have a bunch of ignorant pricks gathering in London in their thousands in mass protest today

If that does not start a second wave nothing will

Jun 06, 2020, 22:57

"Jun 06, 2020, 19:53

PSDT is the new Schulk...not the same type of player, but the same kinda talisman all the same....already a Bok legend "

Sorry Draad. This time I disagree. They're not in the same class.

Definitely not "the same kinda tallisman", IMO.

Schalk made International Player of the year in his second year with the Boks, at the age of 21. PSDT got it at 26. PSDT got it in a RWC year, when the team won the RWC, got the Team of the Year, Coach of the year, etc. Schalk got his the season after the disastrous 2003 RWC campaign.

PSDT over came injuries in his career, so far, but nothing that Schalk has overcome, not even his life threatening illness followed by a two year lay off. Schalk performed at his very best and impressed right up to his very last game. He was still hugely popular at his club right until his last game for Saracens. 

I'll admit that PSDT's career has not yet come to an end like Schalk's and he may still emulate Schalk, but I would not quite put him on the same level as Schalk. Not yet, in any case. My opinion.

Jun 07, 2020, 00:45

Schalk is more like Vermuelen - they are all-rounders that can vary their game based on the situation. Both are very good fetchers playing onto the ball or standing wide as ball carriers or linking players. 

Dutoit has a high work rate and has changed from a lock, adapting to loose forward over time. Having Rassie as a coach appears to have helped him to develop into a specialist blindside flank of international standard. He will probably still get better. When it is a physical game he is like having 2 players making tackles. 

Jun 07, 2020, 07:39

 Dutoit has a high work rate and has changed from a lock, adapting to loose forward over time  “

What position did PSDT play in, in the 2012 Junior RWC? 

Has he played at flank for the Boks prior to 2019?

Do you think that a Bok head coach is normally involved in skills training? 

Do you believe that a player becomes a Bok, and is then coached certain skills? Or do you believe that a player becomes a Bok because he has certain required skills which is then used to achieve a certain game strategy?

No trick questions or intended trick questions. 

Jun 07, 2020, 12:25

Well seeing as though I've been totally overlooked by the lot of you, I'll just allocate myself a position as a bok!

8. Danie Russouw- (Bluebok) A good player, very much worth his salt, but often forgotten and seldom discussed.

There I feel better now. My name carved in immortality, for winning something or other, at some or other event! 

Jun 08, 2020, 00:16

Skills coaching plays no part in rugby beyond school level.

Our test side would be in serious trouble if Rassie was still having to coach certain skills

Players are directed in patterns of play, structures, mindset, peripheral vision etc, not how to pass or tackle a player.

Skill sets are acquired at junior level and honed through the odd tweak and plenty of repetition throughout your career.

Jun 08, 2020, 09:20

"Sorry Draad. This time I disagree. They're not in the same class."


I agree and confess a lame attempt at trolling.

Jun 08, 2020, 14:27


Too funny..... :P

Jun 08, 2020, 16:14

For the record, the Bomb Squad won us the last world cup...… and Plum knows this

Just saying.....:P

Jun 09, 2020, 14:40

They did indeed, DA.

I think bomb squads will become a regular feature now that the value has been demonstrated. 

Not so easy to reproduce the depth in forwards that SA has though. Which was really what made ours so strong. 

Jun 09, 2020, 18:23

They are already going to try ELV's focussing on the scrum and maul in the name of "a more fluent game"....looking more like reducing the advantage of a strong scrum...

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